Help! I Married the Wrong Person! 4
No you didn’t! Wives, now it's your turn. Here's your job and you have none bigger if you want a great marriage."the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
Reflect
I think that one of the best things any woman can do for her marriage is to read the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerich. If you are a man reading this post ask your wife if she would be willing to read it and discuss it with you. If you are a woman reading this I suggest that you do an experiment. Buy the Book, read it without his seeing the book or knowing you’re reading it, and then begin to apply the key learnings. When your husband asks “what’s going on here?”, tell him about the book and see what happens.
For many women it comes as a surprise, even as a shock, that a husband’s heartfelt need is not for love as a woman desires to be loved herself, rather his need is to be respected by his wife.
He loves his wife. She respects her husband. Each gives to the other what the other is built to need and each gives it unilaterally, often unreciprocated, and frequently when it is unmerited.
My husband and I have done what we call "marriage studies" for the past 10 years. We read this book together and discussed it. Hate to nic-pic, but, personally, we felt that the opinions of the author placed a heavier burden on the woman in many of the scenarios to "rise to the occasion".
ReplyDeleteCould it be that too much is being read into the "Husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands"? Both are needed for both. Ask any woman if she needs respect and she will give you a very hearty "Yes", I am sure. After all, women weren't given the vote til...when? I am being facetious, but, I am being honest.
I have a strong marriage because we have worked hard in our marriage. We are both very strong willed people, so we have had to acknowlege that and work with it. It takes two to do what it takes.
Being able to talk to each other is something that doing these studies highlighted. Whatever book one starts with, if both parties have the same goal of growing in their relationship, they will.
We have done the Gary Chapman series-after 37 years of marriage, his books are helping us enter a new season of our relationship. Its been hard sometimes, but we both actually look forward to the new depth we are experiencing.
Love and Respect are for both, maybe in differing quantities at differing times, but always worth working for!