Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Following Tragic Report Comes From the Desk of Rob Mariles

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 The Following Tragic Report Comes from the Desk of Rob Mariles:

Thursday, January 22, 2015
Jeff Lampl


A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.  

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?  

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.  

Sergeant: Weight?  

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.  

Sergeant: Color of eyes?  

Husband: Never noticed.  

Sergeant: Color of hair?  

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.  

Sergeant: What was she wearing?  

Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.  

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?  

Husband: She went in my truck.  

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?  

Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point the husband started choking up.  

Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.
 

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