Do My Prayers Count?

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and  on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your  Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."           Matthew 6:5-6 (NIV)  

I have always found prayer difficult.   It’s hard enough connecting with another human being whom you can see, much less connecting with God, whom you not only cannot see, but who ‘s greatness makes you wonder what you could say that would be worth his while.  

Further I often find myself disliking not only the public prayers of others, but I don’t even like most of my prayers, be the private or public.   It’s hard to pray out loud.   Am I trying to be theologically correct so listeners know what I’m talking about?  Should I raise my voice, add Amens, pray what I think others need to hear (which is probably preaching, not prayer), be solemn, be happy, be joyful, be empathic, risk being naively trusting? .  . . and on it goes.    

Jesus tells us that if we pray so as to look good before others, well it might work, we might look spiritual and therefore be “rewarded” by how good we think others think we are (but I don’t’ think so . . . most people are not so easily faked out).     

I think our best prayers are prayed when we just get alone with God and take the time needed to just be there and conclude that God is present and that you need Him.   And before a word is spoken the most powerful aspect of prayer has already occurred.   What parent, when I child comes to him or her in need and with humility would not give that child exactly what that child needs.   After your dependent approach to God, then you may have some things to say, but frankly those things are far less important than your dependent presence.   Show up, in private, taking whatever time you need to see your need, and then listen, giving God the space to get a word in edgewise.

“Lord, forgive my need to always figure out what to say to you.    Help me to know deeply that what you really want from me is my “want to” to be in your presence.   Help me to see my need.    Help me to listen, to trust that you have spoken, and then to actually trust you enough to actually do what you are leading me to do.  Amen”

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