Divorce

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"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery”                          Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)
 

It is commonly said that Christians divorce at the same rate as non-Christians. We’ve all heard that, 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce.  Yet research found in Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites . . .and Other Lies You’ve Been Told, shows that couples who are active in their faith are much less likely to divorce.  “Active conservative protestants” who attend church regularly are actually 35% less likely to divorce than those who have no religious preferences. “Nominal” Christians, however, those who simply call themselves Christians but so not actively engage with the faith, are actually 20% more likely than the general population to get divorced.  As always actual commitment has power in it, but nominal faith leaves us worse off in various ways than no faith at all.  

Jesus recognized this of course.  He was always commanding followers to “all in”, nowhere more than in marriage.  Starting in Genesis 2 and reiterated in Ephesians 5 marriage is an image of the commitment of Jesus Christ to the Church, and image of inseparable oneness.   Yet he nevertheless allowed for the “out” of adultery.   Paul add another “out”, the desertions of an unbelieving spouse.   All of this leads me to two conclusions.    

First, marriage is sacred, perhaps even sacramental as the Roman Catholics assert.  Therefore any divorce must be considered a breach of Image of God.    Even adultery is forgivable.  Marriage is where we grow up and grow past our me oriented lives and learn how live for someone else beyond ourselves, just as Jesus did so for us.  

Second,  in Judaism a permissible divorce entails permissible remarriage. So to grant a divorce in Jesus’ and Paul’s days was to grant remarriage.   In Jesus’ reiteration of the inviolability of the marriage covenant, he simply states the obvious reality of second marriages.  

Third, it seems to me that there is a “Grace trajectory” here (and in 1 Corinthians 7).  I almost never advise divorce, but I admit that there have been times when a relationship has been abusive to the point of danger and at those times, after long periods of separation, with the hope of repentance and change on the part of the abuser simply gone, that divorce seems to be a sad, reluctant but forgivable option.  

Of one thing I am certain.   Jesus would affirm “I just don’t love him anymore” as a reason for divorce no more than he affirmed loose first century attitudes toward divorce.

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