“(Love)bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails”.
1 Corinthians 13:7-9
Everyone
lies, everyone lets others down, everyone disappoints.
Right? Isn’t it true that
the one “given”
in a relationship is that your friend, partner or spouse is a sinner who
will not live up to all they promise and all you expect?
Of
course there is truth in that but it’s not the whole truth.
A bigger truth is always found in the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us about something that is immaterial,
transcendent, creative, real, and more solid than what we experience when we see
things only with eyes bound to the natural world of what we see empirically.
Marcus
Buckingham studies stuff and he’s famous for what he finds out (really, really
big organizations pay him big bucks).
When he and his colleagues studied relationships for 10 years they
assumed that previous research would be confirmed that unhappy couples broke up
because of misunderstanding and that
happy couples stuck together because they understood each other deeply, because
they had realistic expectations of each other.
What
they found instead was that the couples who stayed together had very unrealistic
expectations of each other! Listen
to what Buckingham and his researchers concluded;
“a spouse’s positive illusion
(yes they used this word) created an upward spiral of love”.
This kind of spouse would often find no fault their partner.
So here’s the researchers’ advice;
“find the
most generous explanation for the other’s behavior and then believe it.
Wow!
Can this be transformative for your relationships or what???
Maybe this is where you (not
him or her) need to start!
For more:
follow on Twitter @jefflampl
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