Do you tend to "go negative" or to "go positive"?

   Blog »    Do you tend to "go negative" or to "go positive"?

 Thursday, February 13, 2014   Jeff Lampl 

"Don't say anything that would hurt {another person}. Instead, speak only what is good so
that you can  give help wherever it is needed. That way, you will build the other up according to their needs”
Ephesians 4:29

“Sticks and stones can break my bones but (words) can never hurt me”.

This slightly altered nursery rhyme is, to my mind, one of the biggest untruths ever told.  One hurtful word can shape a person’s entire life.   Having been called “stupid” as a child can inform one’s self perception for a lifetime.

Words can kill or create.   God created the universe with a word.   Words bring ideas to reality.  There is a sense in which something that will be created is already created at the moment it was verbalized.   The only thing needed thereafter is the architecture.

What words do you use with your partner or spouse?   Do you typically go negative or positive?   Do your words build up or tear down?   With your words you are creating your relationship.   You are either creating a relationship that is to be endured or one that is to be celebrated.   You really can’t have it both ways.  

I’ve seen women berate their husbands in front of others and then sigh to her friends that he’s hopeless.  I’ve seen men bad mouth their wives to other guys and then try to hide their feelings at home.   But it doesn’t work.  She knows how you feel.   And the cycle of negativity persists.   It can even get to the point where one is happy that the other messes up.   He or she loves finding fault and winning the argument at the same time he or she is losing the relationship.

Ephesians 4:29 is the first scripture that Kathy ever taught our children.   It seems to me that this passage might be the most violated passage in all of 21^st century American life.   Can we be different, especially in our homes?

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