Blog » “Don't Outsource Your Family"

                                                     Tuesday, June 4, 2013 Jeff Lampl

 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but  rejoices with the truth."                1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV) 

I plead guilty. My name is Jeff Lampl and I am an outsourcer. 

I became a Christian, got married, and raised five children and I fell into the trap of outsourcing too much of my parenting to others. 

I signed the kids up for t-ball, little league, basketball, flag football, piano, gymnastics, tumbling twos, swimming lessons, camps, boy scouts, football, soccer, wrestling, VBS . . . . and more. I confess that part of me thought the children needed all of that more than they needed me. I also confess that outsourcing is easier. It’s easier to be at work than at home with the kids. It’s easier to watch a game or coach the sport than it is be at home and play monopoly or build Legos.  

But the truth is that it is at home in family that patience is learned. How else does patience grow except where it’s tested and how can it be tested except with the context of big chunks of time spent together? Envy, boasting, rudeness, irritation, and resentment are all things that are experienced, faced, and overcome in interactive, committed relational time together in a family.  

I am grateful that in the midst of my failings Kathy has always insisted on time together as a family. She has always said in essence, “What I and the children need is not stuff and great trips or more teams, what we need is you." We need Time. We need Together. Together. Time. Among the best spellings of love in any language are these two; Together and Time.  

"Lord, show me where I have outsourced my family to others and show me how to change that. Help me to see that what my family needs is me. Together and Time. Thank you Lord, Amen.”