Peace

PEACE

Megann Graf

(written 3/23/16)

Eight years ago today, Easter was at its earliest date in over 100 years.  March 23, 2008.  God must’ve known I needed this message of hope and new life a little early this year (yes, I know Easter is not determined by my life, just roll with me for the sake of a good story!)  I’ll go back a couple to days to tell you how it began…

We had our second baby, a boy named Owen, on March 4, 2008.  He was such a chill little guy.  Then on his 17^th day on this earth, he got really cranky.  I assumed this just meant that my hopes of having an easy going 2^nd child were dissipating, and this would be our new norm.  But it was a little strange.  Later that evening he started throwing up.  It was a bright green vomit, we knew it didn’t look right, so we called the pediatrician and were told if it happened again, we should go to the ER.  It did, and off we went.  It was the night of Good Friday.

  

Turns out Owens small intestine had never attached in utero, and when it had flipped, it twisted and then caused an obstruction, which led to him throwing up bile.  We were told in the wee hours of the morning that he needed immediate surgery.  We spent Friday night into Saturday morning waiting for a 4 hour surgery to be completed.  When it was, we had good news.  He was going to be fine.  He would be in some pain for several days, but they were able to save all of the intestine.  That was a very good thing, they said.   The rest was a waiting game, for when his bowels would start to “wake up. “ He was hooked up to some machines and monitors and so while we were able to see him, we couldn’t hold him.

Mike and I went home that Saturday night to rest and I remember getting my daughter all ready for Easter the next morning for my parents to take her to spend the day with her cousins.  We headed back to the hospital to see Owen.  Today, the nurse said I could hold him.  (Insert a really big mama smile here!) .  The only thing I wanted to be able to do was to hold him.  I wanted him to feel my love.  I remember thinking how ironic this was to be happening on Easter.  Certainly, in no way at the magnitude of what Jesus’ mother must have endured, but just a small glimpse of the agony she must’ve felt that day.  No mother wants to see her child suffer.  And yet, there I was, in the NICU of a hospital looking at mother after mother watch their child in pain.   I remember talking to one whose child was there for yet another heart surgery.  And there were some, I knew, would likely never see the outside of a hospital.  Our twelve day stay would have been welcomed by so many.

Just this past week, I spoke with a friend who this very day, is remembering the day her son did pass away.  This same anniversary that I can remember holding my son again, is the same day she had to stop holding hers.  I marvel at her strength and faith despite having had the worst happen. (And that is a gross understatement.)

How do we find peace in all of this? 

“Peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God.” 

I know the only thing I did for the 4 hours of my sons surgery was pray.  I feel certain that the only thing my friend did during her son’s hospitalization was pray.  And God was with us both.  We’ll never know why the answers to our prayers were different, but I know we both agree that God was with us.

As we prepare to celebrate our Risen Savior, I pray that we would come to recognize His presence in every situation.  Not just the bad ones, but especially in the good ones, because far too often that is when we dismiss Him the most.  The presence of God is our ticket to peace.  God wants us to feel His love too.  But sometimes we have too many of life’s machines (i.e. distractions) hooked up to us and we prevent Him from getting His arms fully around us, though He is always desperately trying.  One thing is certain, in this world there will always be troubles.   Why else would Jesus have gone to such an extreme to save us?  I just hope I’m connected more to God than anything else so that I can feel His love and His peace in all situations.