Heaven, Hell, Generosity, Selfishness, a Banquet and Marriage

Heaven, Hell, Generosity, Selfishness, a Banquet and Marriage
Jeff Lampl
Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I came across the following post which uses a well-known and very helpful image to remind us of the kind of persons we are created to be in marriage and in life.

“Imagine that Heaven and Hell both have banquet tables. In both places, the tables are set with an amazing spread of the most delicious foods anyone has ever encountered. The aroma is unbelievable.

People sit in long rows on either side of the tables, with the food in large bowls between them. In both places, they have utensils strapped to their hands. The utensils are too long to feed themselves. No matter how they contort or stretch, they are unable to get the food to their mouths.

In Heaven, the people are feeding each other, using the utensils to scoop food out of the bowls and then offering it to the person across from them.

In Hell, people keep trying unsuccessfully to feed themselves. They are starving. They're so self-absorbed they'll kill themselves before feeding the person across from them.

Think about that scenario in terms of marriage. Personally, I can't meet my own needs. If I could, I wouldn't have gotten married. Now, there are some individual needs that only God can meet, but He created marriage because He knew man should not be alone. Men and women are designed to meet each other's needs.

I'm not talking about a dysfunctional relationship where you're requiring something of your spouse that he or she can't give you. But there are definitely needs that my wife meets in me that I am unable to meet in myself.

In other words, both she and I have utensils strapped to our hands. I can scoop what she needs and serve it to her. She can scoop what I need and provide it for me. We can't feed ourselves, but I can feed her and she can feed me.

A Hell marriage is made of two people trying to meet their own needs, focused on themselves and not paying attention to their partner across the table. A Hell marriage is selfish.

A Heaven marriage is made of two people who are willing to serve their partner and trust that their partner will serve them. A Heaven marriage is unselfish. It is the strongest and most lasting kind of partnership, built upon two servants in love.

Two servants in love don't scramble to feed themselves. They say, "What would you like? What can I give you? How can I nourish you?"

Whenever love is described in the Bible, it is described as an action. It has attributes that are tangible and decisive. It is not a feeling or an emotion, but a decision.

Serving is one of the most important actions of love, and it's one of the secrets to lifelong passion and intimacy.

My wife and I struggled in the early years of our marriage because we weren't serving each other. Slowly, God helped us begin to change. Every day, she and I learn new ways to serve each other, to show kindness to each other, to romance each other. Every day we get better at it.

Each of us has what the other needs, and God created marriage to allow us to meet those needs for each other. That's why marriage is such a blessing.

“Lord, thank you for this reminder about life in heaven, life on earth and life in marriage.   I am reminded that my marriage is actually preparation for heaven, for life in the coming new world, where the only way to flourish will be to elevate others above myself.   Thank you for reminding me once again, that I am blessed, not to get blessed but to bless. . . . Blessed to be BE a blessing.  Amen”