Is it possible for two people to be of one mind when they flatly disagree?

Is it possible for two people to be of one mind when they flatly disagree?

Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Jeff Lampl

“I urge Euodia and Syntyche to iron out their differences and make up. God doesn't want his children holding grudges”.    Philippians 4:2 (MSG)

Along with Phoebe, Priscilla, Junia, Mary Magdalene and others, these two women were doing leadership things in the early church, things only men were entrusted to do in the Hebrew, Greek and Roman culture of the day.   Paul commends them for “contending at his side for the Gospel” (Phil 4:3).   However,  (read more)

they disagreed on something so strongly that it was apparently harming the unity of their church.

In a world, our world,  that warns us  to “never talk religion or politics” is it possible to hold differing opinions and even state them, at the same remaining one ‘in mind, spirit and soul’ with another person?   Can an ardent democrat and an ardent republican make a marriage work, for example?

I now believe it is possible.   But it takes incredible maturity, committed self-discipline, and a high degree of confidence in God to do so.

Maturity:   I used to find it simply impossible to believe that people holding views that I deemed completely antithetical to the Bible could call themselves followers of Jesus.  Since then I’ve grown up a little bit.  I’ve learned that my judgmentalism toward those of differing social views is just as sinful, probably more so, than the thinking of those who hold those views.  I’ve also learned that some of the views I’ve lifted up as unassailable had either become “heresy tests” for me to use against fellow believers or weren’t as well thought out as I had thought or didn’t quite have the pure motives behind that I had given myself credit for.

Listening:  I’ve discovered that I can often discover tremendous wisdom in the thinking of those whose views diametrically oppose mine.   By asking questions with genuine curiosity (vs. trying to prove my point or win an argument) and then listening to the reasoning, I have frequently discovered wisdom no less thoughtful than mine, often more so.   I’ve learned that most views on big issues include a whole lot of conflicting factors that make a pure stance on anything almost impossible.  I’ve learned it’s not impossible to hold to the highest Christian Ideal while realizing that no one position on how to play out that ideal will be perfect.

Self-discipline:   The Bible contains brilliant advice (because it’s from God!) on the use of the tongue.   But it’s less than useless unless we heed it.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”   James 1:19 (NLT)

Simply put, I need to shut up and listen, actually listen, actually hear, actually learn, actually turn off my inner “but” and pay attention to what is being said and what is behind what is being said.   I need to get better at this.

Confidence in God:   I am learning that it is God who converts our thinking.  My arguments can’t do that.  Pushing begets push-pushback.   Interestingly the New Testament does not present the Gospel as an argument to be won or a belief to be proven.  Rather the New Testament evangelists simply announce the death, resurrection, ascension and Lordship of Jesus.  The evangelists of the New Testament simply told people about an event in history.   God did the rest.  I have noticed that most people (myself included) are swayed not so much by the quality, rationality, historicity, logic, articulateness of an argument for or against something, rather they are moved by a cheerful, intelligent, loving, and, above all, a calm confidence in God which allows for a deep appreciation of the person they are in dialog with.

“Lord, when I face potential conflict today, tomorrow, this week, please remind me, with a jolt if necessary, to hold my tongue, discipline myself to listen, really listen.   I know that’s the first part of wisdom.  I will trust you to guide me from there.  Amen”