Dear CLC Family,
Below is another terrific
article on living the “Circle 4”
Life. I hope you take time to
read it and consider how God’s Grace intersects with your attitudes, words and
actions.
“Lord, am I willing to leave the 99 and go after the one lost sheep?
Father by your Grace make me giver of Your Grace to those around me
who are wounded and lost and sinful. Amen”
Father by your Grace make me giver of Your Grace to those around me
who are wounded and lost and sinful. Amen”
“Holiness
is found where one, in actions of costly Grace, takes onto himself the sin of another,
neither condemning it nor whitewashing it,
for the sake of the restoring the other to Jesus."
is found where one, in actions of costly Grace, takes onto himself the sin of another,
neither condemning it nor whitewashing it,
for the sake of the restoring the other to Jesus."
Going To
Hell with Ted Haggard
What I learned
about grace and redemption through my friendship with a Christian
pariah.
Michael Cheshire
I didn't plan
to care about Ted Haggard. After all, I have access to Google and
a Bible. I heard about what he did and knew it was wrong. I saw
the clips from the news and the HBO documentary about his life
after his fall. I honestly felt bad for him but figured it was his
own undoing. When the topic came up with others I know in
ministry, we would feign sadness, but inside we couldn't care
less. One close friend said he would understand it more if Ted had
just sinned with a woman. I agreed with him at the time. It's
amazing how much more mercy I give to people who struggle with
sins I understand. The further their sin is from my own personal
struggles, the more judgmental and callous I become. I'm not proud
of that. It's just where I was at that time in my walk. But that
all changed in one short afternoon.
Eating our
own
A while back I was having a business lunch at a sports bar in the Denver area with a close atheist friend. He's a great guy and a very deep thinker. During lunch, he pointed at the large TV screen on the wall. It was set to a channel recapping Ted's fall. He pointed his finger at the HD and said, "That is the reason I will not become a Christian. Many of the things you say make sense, Mike, but that's what keeps me away."
It was well
after the story had died down, so I had to study the screen to see
what my friend was talking about. I assumed he was referring to
Ted's hypocrisy. "Hey man, not all of us do things like
that," I responded. He laughed and said, "Michael, you
just proved my point. See, that guy said sorry a long time ago.
Even his wife and kids stayed and forgave him, but all you
Christians still seem to hate him. You guys can't forgive him and
let him back into your good graces. Every time you talk to me
about God, you explain that he will take me as I am. You say he
forgives all my failures and will restore my hope, and as long as
I stay outside the church, you say God wants to forgive me. But
that guy failed while he was one of you, and most of you are still
vicious to him." Then he uttered words that left me reeling:
"You Christians eat your own. Always have. Always will."
Change of
heart
He was running
late for a meeting and had to take off. I, however,
could barely move. I studied the TV and read the caption as a
well-known religious leader kept shoveling dirt on a man who had
admitted he was unclean. And at that moment, my heart started to
change. I began to distance myself from my previously harsh
statements and tried to understand what Ted and his family must
have been through. When I brought up the topic to other men and
women I love and respect, the very mention of Haggard's name made
our conversations toxic. Their reactions were visceral.
Please
understand, this isn't just my experience. Just Google his name
and read what is said about him in Christian circles. Most
Christians would say God can forgive him, but almost universally
people agree that God will never use him again. When I pressed the
question, "Why can't God still use Ted?" I was dismissed
as foolish or silly. Most of these people got mad and demanded I
drop the subject. Perhaps they saw something I was missing, but
this response seemed strange. After all, I reasoned, Jesus
restored Peter after he denied Christ. That's a pretty big deal.
And what about the Scripture that teaches us that the gifts and
callings of God are irrevocable? So I felt I needed to meet Ted
for myself. So I had my assistant track him down for a lunch
appointment. I live outside Denver and he was living in Colorado
Springs, a little over an hour away. Perfect!
We exchanged a
few emails and agreed on a date and a restaurant. I took two men
from my staff, and we met him for lunch. All the way there, I
quietly played out in my head how he would act. Would he be
reserved? Sad? Angry or distant?
Surprised by
friendship
In less than
five minutes of talking with Ted, I realized a horrible truth—I
liked him. He was brutally honest about his failures. He was
excited that the only people who would talk to him now were the
truly broken and hurt. During our conversation a lady approached
him. He instantly went into "pastor mode" and cared for
her. Deep inside God was teaching me that true salvation is an
ongoing process. We spent two hours together and decided to stay
in touch. I began to call and ask him church-related questions. He
possesses a wealth of wisdom. He even has a growing church in the
very city that knows him for his biggest failures. I thought I had
it tough as a church planter! But God is causing his church to
really grow. I met his wonderful wife, Gayle. She is a terrific
teacher of grace and one of my heroes. When I grow up, I want to
be Gayle Haggard. And so I became close friends with Ted Haggard.
But then the
funniest thing started happening to me. Some Christians I hung out
with told me they would distance themselves from me if I continued
reaching out to Ted. Several people in my church said they would
leave. Really? Does he have leprosy? Will he infect me? We are
friends. We aren't dating! But in the end, I was told that my
voice as a pastor and author would be tarnished if I continued to
spend time with him. I found this sickening. Not just because
people can be so small, but because I have a firsthand account
from Ted and Gayle of how they lost many friends they had known
for years. Much of it is pretty cold-blooded. Now the
"Christian machine" was trying to take away their new
friends.
It would do
some Christians good to stay home one weekend and watch the entire
DVD collection of HBO's Band of Brothers. Marinate in it. Take
notes. Write down words like loyalty, friendship,
and sacrifice. Understand the phrase: never leave a fallen
man behind.
Where's the
love?
I had a hard
time understanding why we as Christians really needed Ted to crawl
on the altar of church discipline and die. We needed a clean
break. He needed to do the noble thing and walk away from the
church. He needed to protect our image. When Ted crawled off that
altar and into the arms of a forgiving God, we chose to kill him
with our disdain. I wrestled with my part in this until I got an
epiphany. In a quiet time of prayer, Christ revealed to me a
brutal truth: it was my fault. We are called to leave the 99 to go
after the one. We are supposed to be numbered with the outcasts.
After all, we are the ones that believe in resurrection. In many
ways I have not been aggressive enough with the application of the
gospel. My concept of grace needed to mature, to grow muscles,
teeth, and bad breath. It needed to carry a shield, and most of
all, it needed to find its voice.
Grace must pick
a side in the light of day, not just whisper its opinion in the
shadows and dark places where we sign our name Anonymous.
When a leader falls and then repents, grace picks a side. Grace is
strong. Grace is a shield to those who cannot get off the
battlefield. Grace is God's idea. Like a spiritual Switzerland, we
stay in our neutral world where we can both forgive and judge but
never get our hands dirty caring for the fallen. And when we don't
pick a side, the wrong side gets picked for us. Crematoriums are
more sanitary than hospitals. Let's change this!
Of course, I
understand that if a person doesn't repent there is not a whole
lot you can offer. But Ted resigned, confessed, repented, and
submitted. He jumped through our many hoops. When will we be cool
with him again? When will the church allow God to use him again?
It's funny that we believe we get to make that decision.
The Ted Haggard
issue reminds me of a scene in Mark Twain's, Huckleberry Finn.
Huck is told that if he doesn't turn in his friend, a runaway
slave named Jim, he will surely burn in hell. So one day Huck, not
wanting to lose his soul to Satan, writes a letter to Jim's owner
telling her of Jim's whereabouts. After folding the letter, he
starts to think about what his friend has meant to him, how Jim
took the night watch so he could sleep, how they laughed and
survived together. Jim is his friend and that is worth
reconsideration. Huck realizes that it's either Jim's friendship
or hell. Then the great Mark Twain writes such wonderful words of
resolve. Huck rips the paper and says, "Alright then, I guess
I'll go to hell."
What a great
lesson. What a great attitude. I think of John
15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down
one's life for one's friends." Maybe it's not just talking
about our physical life. Perhaps it's the life we know, the
friends we have and lose. Maybe I show love when I lay down the
life we have together to confront you on a wrong attitude or
action. Maybe we show no greater love than when we are counted
with people who others consider tainted. Becoming friends with Ted
was a defining moment in my life, ministry, and career. Sure, I
lost a few relationships, but I doubt they would have cared for me
in my failures. So really, I lost nothing. If being Ted's friend
causes some to hate and reject me—alright then, I guess I'll go
to hell.
Michael
Cheshire is pastor of The Journey Church in Conifer, Colorado and
author of How
to Knock Over a 7-11 and Other Ministry Training (2012) and
Why We Eat Our Own (2013)
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In my opinion this article is not appropriate for a daily reflection. Nothing to do with Haggard ! Article style doesn't fit this venue's mission. Again, only my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but chuckle at my reaction to this compared with the other commenter's. As I was reading this I was thinking how I need to be sure that all the members of my home fellowship group on "Who Was This Man?" (about Jesus, of course) read it before our next get-together. The chuckle is that at our last HFG my wife was marveling at the varied range of reactions there are to movies, music, books, events - even among seemingly like-minded folks. Example is the movie musical Les Miz - our friends loved it, disliked it, and loved it except for Russell Crowe (while Carole Huffaker, a very "artsie" columnist for our local newspaper, disliked it except for the performance of Russell Crowe). Any wonder why there are so many denominations? I loved it, by the way. And I thought this blog (or whatever) was powerful. (And we even sit within about 5 yards of each other at church, Ronn :-) Bob R.
ReplyDelete"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent" Luke 15 7
ReplyDelete....."In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents"
I feel the reason grace is in such short supply at these times (and this is not to make any sin trivial for any of us) but it is because the Old Covenant is safer and is constantly being 'reintroduced'. Get too close to grace and it seems to set off an alarm in mainstream churches that something is going wrong. We live this out in our every day experience with forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process otherwise its cheap talk. Pain, hate, disclosure, repentance, recompense, love are all pathways to genuine forgiveness. And for most of us forgiveness is a person to person happening. For leaders, it can involve congregations. "Confess your sins to one another" is often misunderstood. Its not for confession sake we confess. Its to confess to those we have wronged. Everything Jesus did was to promote heart attitude, "I strive always to keep my conscience clear before man" (Acts) Confession without heart to people who cannot handle it is only ammunition for gossiping, judgement, and unloving behavior. Should one wear a sign for the rest of their life of the sin that was committed simply to keep any and all Christian believers well informed? Ridiculous.
There's been alot of hurt that this man's behavior caused but I hope he is patient in his enduring it and that the "Organized Christian Religious Community" is quick to pick this sheep up and help him see Jesus in his fellow brothers.