Monday, February 29, 2016

More Thoughts on Faith, God and Prayer

Jeff Lampl
Monday, February 29, 2016



 More Thoughts on Faith, God and Prayer

Allow me just one more post prompted by . .  .

the movie, The Grey.  Again, its rated R and deservedly so, but as I mentioned in my last post on the movie, I found for me it raised and even addressed profound questions about God, faith and prayer.   The biggest question to ask after watching the film is, “Is this how it is?”   Is this how life actually is?  Do each of us gear ourselves up to face pain, trials and even hopelessness and in the end do so one last time (as the film’s poem and theme says, “once more into the fray”) only to for it all to be for naught?

As a believer in God and as a believer that there is nothing, nothing at all, on planet earth (including every movie ever made) that doesn’t somehow point us to the existence and intervention of God into life on earth, it occurred to me that the film’s poem tells us something important and profound.  

“one more time into the fray”.   This is what people of faith do.  They don’t quit.  They know that nothing, absolutely done in faith is ever wasted.  I’m certain others see the scene I’m referring to fatalistic, perhaps even the author.  Not I.

“Live and die on the same day, Live and die on the same day”.   More fatalism?  Maybe.  But that’s not what I see.  I see one as impossible without the other.  As depicted starkly in the movie, the fatalist lives by fighting death of self until death inevitably wins.  The Christian chooses to die to self and others as his means of really living.  The fatalist lives by the law of the wild, “eat or be eaten”.   The Christian lives by the law of Christ “eat and be eaten . . .If I am consumed in the process of bringing life to others, that is choosing the life that is truly life”

Frankly as I watched the film, I saw more “life that is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:19) in the unbearable conditions of white-knuckled near death survival than I have seen walking the isles of Forever 21 (don’t ask).

"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat dies, it is never any more than a grain of wheat.
But if it dies, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over.”
John 12:24

“Lord, regardless of how difficult tomorrow will be, I will go once more into the fray,   regardless of the cost to me . . .  be it even the worst, believing that of despair, hopeless and even death, you bring life.  Therefore I will once again enter the fray.   Amen”

Sunday, February 28, 2016

They Lied. Money Can Buy Happiness


Jeff Lampl
Sunday, February 28, 2016


Last Sunday on the way home from church . . . . 

I happened upon a TED talk on the radio during which the researcher claimed that his research on money, spending and happiness showed that the old saying “money can’t buy happiness” is completely wrong.   You can check out the 10 minute video here.

Next, one of our elders sent me this scripture that also speaks to what money buys.  Isaiah addresses fasting, spending, and what results from spending on the right things.   Isaiah’s “research” into God’s opinion of “money can’t buy happiness” outdoes the finding of the TED talk by a mile.  

“Is not this the fast that I chose:  to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free?  
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you, the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, Here I am.

And the LORD will guide you continually, and satisfy your desire with good things and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters fail not”     Isaiah 58:6-11

“Lord, as you put before my eyes opportunities to spend on others,
prompt me to take them for your sake, in process giving me the happiness
that is so elusive when I spend on myself.  
Amen”

Friday, February 26, 2016

What Does It Mean to Have Faith?


Jeff Lampl
Friday, February 26, 2016
What Does it Mean to Have Faith?


Several years ago I watched the movie . .  . . . . .

The Grey.   It impacted me so much that I still think about it all the time.  I reflect frequently on so many of scenes in the film (it’s a great move by the way and I recommend it highly if you are willing to face the tough questions of the existence, provision and faithfulness of God).   If you choose to watch it you might not like all the “f bombs” and gore, but you will be challenged.  Where was God when they needed him?

Over the years I’ve wrestled with the whole idea of faith.  Is faith a belief system in my head or it acting on my belief system making faith more into acts of obedience.   In fact, all of that is part and parcel of biblical faith.   It would have been unthinkable to a first century Jew to talk about faith apart from belief, obedience, and acting on their trust in God.  Faith, belief, trust, obedience are all facets of the same diamond.

Where I’ve settled is on the simplest definition of faith of all.   Hebrews 11:1 tells us “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” ?   Brilliant Bible scholar, Dallas Willard, writes, “Salvation is confidence in God”.   I’ve come to rest in this.   My faith is now defined as confidence in God.

So . . . how does confidence in God fit with what happened to Liam Niesen and all those he was trying to rescue in the Grey?   If you watch the film and if you believe that God is always at work at every second and in every square inch of the universe, then you will find God even in what appears to be his utter absence.

Jesus said to them,
 “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”
 John 5:17

“Lord, I choose to believe that you are always at work for good at every second and in every square inch of the universe.  I will no longer fret over not understanding what you are doing, rather I choose to simply thank you in all my circumstances, be they good or seemingly hopeless,  for the goodness you are working in the world both now and for the future. Amen”

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Exactly What I Need


Exactly What I Need
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Blog by Megann Graf

If you were here this past Sunday, you might recall some of the videos that Pastor Jeff showed that had to do with advertising.  I will admit, I am online shopper, because of that, my email inbox is constantly flooded with retailers trying to get me to buy more.  Recently, I got the one above (notice I had moved it to my trash folder-that should count for something!)  But, the tag line did grab me.  “This is exactly what you need right now.”  Really?  How does Gap, who also cannot spell my name correctly,  know what I need right now?  Apparently a 40% off sale solves almost anything, right?! 

But, I’ll admit, there are probably more times than I would like to admit that I bought something, or ate something, or drank something because it was “just what I needed” in that moment.  I knew full well it wasn’t going to solve anything, I just wanted to feel better in that moment. 

Why is it that we’re so quick to jump to our quick fixes, that we know are not “exactly what we need” instead of immediately turning to God?  I know, I know, God doesn’t always reply back in a way that you can hear and understand.  Trust me folks, I get this.  I have cried out several times and still sat wondering why in the heck I was in this situation.  What was I doing wrong?  What IS the solution? 

I’m currently going through 40 day devotional for Lent called “Lent to Repent” by Ann Voskamp.  (I highly recommend it, btw.)  Each day, she points out something in your life that you should repent of.  Things like judging others, taking for granted our freedom from persecution, noise, etc.  Today’s reflection said this,
“By grace, today, I will fast from feeling like a relationship with You is a burden. Today I will sit with Your Word because reading Your word is not about getting You to love me…but about simply getting myself into the place where I can hear You telling me just that – that You love even, especially me.  We repent of trying to face anything before we have sought the face of God.”

It made me think . . . .How many times do I think that going to God is a burden?  I run to the store or the pantry far more times than I run to the Word.  Maybe you run to the gym or Starbucks or any other number of places. 

God is exactly what we need, no matter what the situation.  He doesn’t need to be 40% off, His gift of love is free, always, no strings attached.  He’s in the business of trying to make you look and feel better too, and he’s got a pretty decent track record of accomplishing that, if you follow his instructions.  He is exactly what we need right now!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Why I Tithe: Part 4 of 4

Why I Tithe:  Part 4 of 4
Jeff Lampl
Tuesday, February 23, 2016



This picture is a parody of Christianity playing off . . . . .on Michelangelo’s painting on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, where God creates Adam in his own image.   So what’s the creator of this image trying to say?

When I started tithing all those years ago, giving ten percent of my gross income to the church, God did not give me the expectation that God would reward me in any way financially.   Instead, rightly or wrongly, I had the mindset that my tithing brought not special reward with it.    For me it was simple obedience to my best understanding of scripture.   Also, whether it was God or just me,  I never had the thought that tithing would somehow make God like me more, or that because I tithed I was somehow a better person, or that tithing meant that God, “owed” me for my good obedient behavior.   I cannot take credit for this.  Maybe my make-up is such that I simply knew (and know) how undeserving I was (and still am).

If the picture above depicts that my giving to God is like a bribe (quid pro quo – I give to God but expect Him to pay me back) then the picture is a depiction of a God who doesn’t exist.   God gives because God is a giver.  God is good because God is the definition of goodness.  In fact God is so incomprehensively better than anything I can imagine, that when I blatantly  give to God with the hope of getting something from him in return, God simply, simply accepts my (bribe?) and loves me and blessed me anyway. In fact He’s been giving me everything I need from before I was born.   and I’m simply entrusting myself to him, just as any good father wants his sons and daughters to entrust themselves to him. 

For Parts 1, 2 and 3 of this series of posts, click herehere and here 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

A Prayer for You

A Prayer for You
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Jeff Lampl

I will be praying this prayer for you this weekend visualizing as well as I can each of you as you do your best to live out your lives as followers of Jesus Christ.   In Christ, Pastor Jeff

“Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere,  I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly,  asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.  I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.  

“I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power  that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.  Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come.  God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.  And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself”   Ephesians 1:15-23 (NLT) 

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Snow, Blind Spots, Parking and God

Snow, Blind Spots, Parking and God
Thursday, February 18, 2016


Our very own K.J. Swiger from our worship team writes . . .

I consider myself decent at parallel parking. I can typically get my Jeep into a spot on the first try. However today it took me like 7 tries because the lower part of my passenger mirror had snow on it blocking the pile of frozen snow that I kept running into (similar to how my driver's window looks in this picture). At first I was just laughing it off thinking it's a good thing no one was out here to see me totally fail at parking. But then I had a "Jesus" moment.

I thought to myself "Huh. . . This is exactly how our lives are." We get so comfortable with life (aka parallel parking) that we don't realize how one little stumbling block (aka little patch of snow on the mirror) can throw us off track and cause us to get stuck in the overwhelming cycle of negativity, bitterness, anger, etc. (trying over and over again to get around that pile of frozen snow even though I know that I have to get out and clear the snow off of the mirror). It wasn't until I wiped off the mirror that I was able to see the full image and park successfully.


The same goes with our spiritual lives. If we're not careful and intentionally working to keep Christ first in our lives, our thoughts can slowly start to get clouded and eventually we will get stuck in a rut, doing the same thing over and over again, only to get disappointed, forcing us to search for other things to help get us out. In reality all we need to do is get refocused so we can see the whole picture and put our thoughts back on Christ. My knowledge or skill of parallel parking didn't matter in that moment. What mattered was the thing blocking my view so I couldn't see where I was going. It doesn't matter how long we've been a Christian, or how close to God we are . . .  Every one of us are all capable of becoming distracted. I know I've been guilty of this, and I will likely become guilty of doing this in the future. But as long as I continue to refocus myself on Christ, I know I'll be okay.

Be encouraged, and stay warm!! 


Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Is It Robbing God to Tithe on Your After-Tax (Not Gross) Income?

Is It Robbing God to Tithe on Your After-Tax (Not Gross) Income?
The Israelites were never subject to withholding upward of 15 percent.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Jeff Lampl


The following three views on the above question appeared in Christianity Today last summer.   I hope they help you as you decide on the  percentage of your income that you give to the Lord that reflects genuine trust in the Lord to provide for your needs.  As you wrestle with this question in faith, you will inevitably come across the question, “do I tithe on net or gross?”     God bless, Jeff

VIEW ONE
No, It’s Robbing Yourself
Frederica Mathewes-Green
My husband and I were newly Christian and in seminary when a friend told us about tithing. She stressed the importance of giving a full 10 percent before taxes, before anything else, so that we would be giving God the first fruits of our labor.
We recoiled at the thought, but she said this practice had given God room to work miracles in her life. She and her husband had once put their last dollar in the offering plate, only to have the pastor turn around and give them the whole collection. My husband and I began this plan right away and never even considered making our tithe after taxes. It seemed petty to make such calculations when giving to a God who gave us everything, including his Son.
Soon, we had settled into a pattern of giving 5 percent to our local church and 5 percent to charity. But one year, when it was time to renew our annual pledge to the church, I was convicted that a radical increase was necessary. God says, “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse” (Mal. 3:10, ESV). For our family, that means the local church. So the full 10 percent should go to our church, while charitable gifts (alms) were to be an additional offering.
When I began sharing this with my husband, we were in for a surprise. He had separately come to the same conviction. The problem was that we had just promised 5 percent of our income to a missionary. Overnight, we went from giving 10 percent of our income to giving 15 percent.
Yet we never suffered. We saw God meet our needs in ways that bordered on the miraculous. People were always giving us things we needed but couldn’t afford: a sewing machine, a lawn mower, a new refrigerator. More than once, we found an inexplicable extra $50 in our savings account.
Over the years, our total giving (including alms) has ranged from 15 to 20 percent. We found, like others before us, that once we determined to make our tithe the first payment each month and this habit became routine, all other expenses fell into place.
God uses strong language about tithing (Mal. 3:8–9). We live in a time that is offended by that strong language, and resents any implication that we ought to do or not do something. We regard ourselves as customers, even in church, and expect to be treated with deference, for the customer is always right.
This kind of exhortation has a way of backfiring. So the best I can say is: At least try. Aim to give a percentage of your income. Start with whatever percentage you give now, and raise it a little each year. In time, you will reach the tithe.
Then you will be giving as generously as the people of the Bible, who lived in conditions we would see as abject poverty. Like them, pay God before you pay Caesar, for there is no better indication of your priorities.
Frederica Mathewes-Green, author of ten books, blogs on Christian spirituality and Eastern Orthodoxy at frederica.com.
VIEW TWO

No, Put Away the Calculator
David A. Croteau
The question here assumes that tithing in some way is required for Christians. The word tithe means 10 percent, not necessarily “a tenth of my income.” The biblical definition of a tithe is “giving 10 percent of one’s increase from crops grown in the land of Israel or cattle that feed off the land of Israel.” It was consistently connected to the land of Israel. A tithe was done multiple times a year, probably equaling more than 20 percent of crops. No one was ever commanded to give 10 percent from their general income (just crops and cattle). So unless you are under the Old Covenant and have crops based in the land of Israel or cattle that feed off the land of Israel, you do not qualify to tithe (Lev. 27:30–33; Num. 18:21–24; Deut. 14:22–29).
Does the Bible teach that neglecting to tithe is robbing God? Sort of. The question refers to Malachi 3:8–11. But the word for tithe in Malachi 3 refers to the definition noted above. Christians live under the New Covenant, so our standard for giving has changed. It’s not necessarily a higher or lower standard, but it is different.
Some people may hear, “Christians aren’t required to tithe,” and think it means, “Christians aren’t required to give.” Nothing could be further from the truth. The New Testament gives many principles for giving, but it never mandates a specific percentage or addresses after-tax or gross income.
For many prosperous US Christians, giving 10 percent could be considered “robbing God” (in a sense) because it does not meet the standard of generous giving. For those who make a more meager income, giving less than 10 percent could be generous and sacrificial. If I’m asking the question with the intent to decipher how little I can get away with giving, then a serious heart issue is exposed. When we are driven by the principles of giving from the New Testament, the after-tax question becomes irrelevant. God’s people should try to find ways to give more, not less.
What are some of those biblical principles?
There are three driving forces for Christian giving in 2 Corinthians 8. First, it is grace-driven. Our giving is a response to the grace that God has shown to us through Jesus Christ. The more we recognize that we have done nothing to deserve salvation, the more likely we are to respond to God’s grace by giving generously.
Second, Christian giving is relationship-driven (v. 5). Much Christian giving today is taught in such a way as to drive the Christian to a calculator. You type in your income, multiply that by 10 percent, and give the total, rounding up to include an offering. But God wants you to seek a relationship with him, not with your calculator.
Third, Christian giving is love-driven. In verses 8–9, Paul provides an example of this type of giving: Jesus’ death on the cross, the ultimate demonstration of love. In this way, our giving is a barometer of the genuineness of our love for God
David A. Croteau, author of Tithing after the Cross, is professor of New Testament and Greek at Columbia International University.


VIEW THREE

Yes, God’s Word Is Clear
Steve Stewart
There is no way to sugarcoat Malachi 3:8: “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’ In tithes and offerings.” Bible-based tithing does not fit comfortably into an era of complex payroll deductions.
To be sure, before-tax or after-tax giving of a tithe is not a salvation issue. Tithing is not in the Ten Commandments. God does not love us more or less because we adhere to an Old Testament mandate of giving a tenth of our first fruits.
Millions of Americans have jobs at companies that withhold Social Security, Medicare, and federal and state income taxes. This is done to assist individuals by placing money aside throughout the year so they don’t have to come up with all the money at tax time. If we are to base our tithe on after-tax income, are givers in states with income taxes robbing God more than income tax–free states?
There is a joke that goes, “If you want only net blessings, pay on the net. If you want gross blessings, by all means, pay on the gross.” But even while the joke encourages tithing on before-tax income, it approaches the topic in the wrong way. Tithing, based on any amount, is not about what we get but rather what we give.
I challenge Christians to consider off-the-top tithing another way to become more like Jesus. Giving is taking our eyes off ourselves. Giving with the right mindset steers our behaviors in a new direction. When we consider giving a tenth of our net versus our gross, we are really asking, “How much can I give without giving too much?” This is the spirit behind my daughter’s heavy sighs when I remind her to give a dime out of each precious dollar she earns. This kind of nonverbal response is rooted in our selfish nature that resists God’s request that we help build his kingdom by giving to our local church.
The definition of a tithe is a tenth of our first fruits (Prov. 3:9)—our income. And we are to pay Caesar what is Caesar’s. So the answer to our plight becomes clear.
By giving 10 percent off the top—the whole top—I came to grips with my selfish desires and challenges. Once I changed my heart, I was able to let go and began giving 10 percent of our gross income. We were blessed before we started giving off the gross, and I believe we are more blessed today. It’s not a quantifiable blessing or something I can show you. Erasing this debate from my mind allows me to focus more intensely on serving God.
Malachi is provoking our total dependence upon a loving, covenantal God, not an everlasting guilt trip. When we tithe off the top, we rely more on God and less on our wallets.
Steve Stewart is founder of MoneyPlan SOS, a Christian coaching ministry.
“Lord, help!  So much of me wants to find a loophole, to keep more for myself.   Yet another part of me wants to take the leap to trust you with the most fundamental part of my daily life, my money, no  . . your money.   Lord, I am willing to start.  I’m ready to say yes to you.  I now seek your guidance as I embark on the path of giving to you and to others through your church in a way that reflects genuine, practical trust in you.  Thank you Lord, I look forward to settling this issue in a way that I know that honors you and therefore brings me peace with you and peace with myself.   Amen”

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Heaven, Hell, Generosity, Selfishness, a Banquet and Marriage

Heaven, Hell, Generosity, Selfishness, a Banquet and Marriage
Jeff Lampl
Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I came across the following post which uses a well-known and very helpful image to remind us of the kind of persons we are created to be in marriage and in life.

“Imagine that Heaven and Hell both have banquet tables. In both places, the tables are set with an amazing spread of the most delicious foods anyone has ever encountered. The aroma is unbelievable.

People sit in long rows on either side of the tables, with the food in large bowls between them. In both places, they have utensils strapped to their hands. The utensils are too long to feed themselves. No matter how they contort or stretch, they are unable to get the food to their mouths.

In Heaven, the people are feeding each other, using the utensils to scoop food out of the bowls and then offering it to the person across from them.

In Hell, people keep trying unsuccessfully to feed themselves. They are starving. They're so self-absorbed they'll kill themselves before feeding the person across from them.

Think about that scenario in terms of marriage. Personally, I can't meet my own needs. If I could, I wouldn't have gotten married. Now, there are some individual needs that only God can meet, but He created marriage because He knew man should not be alone. Men and women are designed to meet each other's needs.

I'm not talking about a dysfunctional relationship where you're requiring something of your spouse that he or she can't give you. But there are definitely needs that my wife meets in me that I am unable to meet in myself.

In other words, both she and I have utensils strapped to our hands. I can scoop what she needs and serve it to her. She can scoop what I need and provide it for me. We can't feed ourselves, but I can feed her and she can feed me.

A Hell marriage is made of two people trying to meet their own needs, focused on themselves and not paying attention to their partner across the table. A Hell marriage is selfish.

A Heaven marriage is made of two people who are willing to serve their partner and trust that their partner will serve them. A Heaven marriage is unselfish. It is the strongest and most lasting kind of partnership, built upon two servants in love.

Two servants in love don't scramble to feed themselves. They say, "What would you like? What can I give you? How can I nourish you?"

Whenever love is described in the Bible, it is described as an action. It has attributes that are tangible and decisive. It is not a feeling or an emotion, but a decision.
Serving is one of the most important actions of love, and it's one of the secrets to lifelong passion and intimacy.

My wife and I struggled in the early years of our marriage because we weren't serving each other. Slowly, God helped us begin to change. Every day, she and I learn new ways to serve each other, to show kindness to each other, to romance each other. Every day we get better at it.

Each of us has what the other needs, and God created marriage to allow us to meet those needs for each other. That's why marriage is such a blessing.

“Lord, thank you for this reminder about life in heaven, life on earth and life in marriage.   I am reminded that my marriage is actually preparation for heaven, for life in the coming new world, where the only way to flourish will be to elevate others above myself.   Thank you for reminding me once again, that I am blessed, not to get blessed but to bless. . . . Blessed to be BE a blessing.  Amen”

Monday, February 15, 2016

A Dangerous Illusion


A DANGEROUS ILLUSION
A Post-Valentine’s Day Post
Monday, February 15, 2015



The following reflection comes to us via the C.S. Lewis Institute in Washington D.C.

“C.S. Lewis once commented on the illusion of being perpetually “in love” and its dangers.
Researchers tell us that married, born-again Americans and married, non-born-again Americans divorce at the same rate: 35%.1 Many factors contribute to our culture of divorce, including our deeply ingrained sense of individualism, pursuit of personal happiness, and vivid personal feelings. These in turn make us particularly vulnerable to harboring illusions about love and marriage that can erode commitment to our spouse.  C.S.Lewis wrote;

“People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on ‘being in love’ for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change—not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there…
Another notion we get from novels and plays is that ‘falling in love’ is something quite irresistible; something that just happens to one, like measles. And because they believe this, some married people throw up the sponge and give in when they find themselves attracted by a new acquaintance. But I am inclined to think that these irresistible passions are much rarer in real life than in books, at any rate when one is grown up. When we meet someone beautiful and clever and sympathetic, of course we ought, in one sense, to admire and love these good qualities. But is it not very largely in our own choice whether this love shall, or shall not, turn into what we call ‘being in love’? No doubt, if our minds are full of novels and plays and sentimental songs, and our bodies full of alcohol, we shall turn any love we feel into that kind of love: just as if you have a rut in your path all the rainwater will run into that rut, and if you wear blue spectacles everything you see will turn blue. But that will be our own fault. 

“These illusions, which in Lewis’s day were fed by books, novels, and plays, are now intensified through television programs and movies which reinforce the fantasy that “being in love” is something that, with the right person, can go on for a lifetime and is the summum bonum of human existence. Once embraced, however, this fantasy can subtly undermine our commitment to our own spouse, if we no longer “feel in love.” Surely, then, we do well to heed the insights of C.S. Lewis and be discerning in what we allow to enter our minds—and especially what we allow to shape our desires. If we don’t, we will have no one but ourselves to blame for the consequences.”


Lord, I’m grateful that Valentine’s Day reminds me that it is up to me to put the romance, the spice, the joy back into my marriage when it is missing.   I’m even more grateful, Lord, that you have given us marriage, the solid, strong walls of commitment which can contain and grow our love.   Thank you for the reminder that it is not “being in love” that holds my marriage together, rather it is the commitment and practice of marriage to holds our love together.  Amen

Sunday, February 14, 2016

You Never Marry the Right Person - Part 4

February 14, 2016
Pastor Jeff Lampl

You Never Marry the Right Person
How our culture misunderstands compatibility.
Part 4


Finally Tim Keller writes, “The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is—we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.
The hard times of marriage drive us to experience more of this transforming love of God. But a good marriage will also be a place where we experience more of this kind of transforming love at a human level”
Following is a very beautiful prayer that I love to pray when I officiate at weddings.   It is written by Louis Evans Jr.   I hope you find it as deeply meaningful as I do.
“O God of love, You have established marriage for the welfare and happiness of mankind. Yours was the plan and only with You can we work it out with joy. You have said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helpmeet for him.’ Now our joys are doubled since the happiness of one is the happiness of the other. Our burdens now are halved since when we share them, we divide the load.
Bless this husband. Bless him as provider of nourishment and raiment and sustain him in all the exactions and pressures of his battle for bread. May his strength be her protection, his character be her boast and her pride, and may he so live that she will find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs.
Bless this loving wife. Give her a tenderness that will make her great, a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in You. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast the things that never age.
Teach them that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two uniting and joining hands to serve You. Give them a great spiritual purpose in life. May they seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and the other things shall be added unto them.
May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to You. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s points of comeliness and strength, and see each other through a lover’s kind and patient eyes.
Now make such assignments to them on the scroll of Your will as will bless them and develop their characters as they walk together. Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humane, enough of failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Yours and enough of success to make them sure they walk with God.
May they never take each other’s love for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, ‘Out of all this world you have chosen me.’

When life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found then as now still hand in hand, still thanking God for each other. May they serve You happily, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other into the arms of God. This we ask through Jesus Christ, Great Lover of Our Souls. Amen.”

Saturday, February 13, 2016

You Never Marry the Right Person - Part 3

February 13, 2016
Pastor Jeff Lampl

You Never Marry the Right Person
How our culture misunderstands compatibility.
Part 3


“The first reason that no two people are compatible for marriage is . .  . .
Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage” continues . .  
“namely, that marriage profoundly changes us. But there is another reason. Any two people who enter into marriage are spiritually broken by sin, which among other things means to be self-centered—living life incurvatus in se.
As author Denis de Rougemont said, “Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love ... ?” That is why a good marriage is more painfully hard to achieve than athletic or artistic prowess.
Raw, natural talent does not enable you to play baseball as a pro or write great literature without enduring discipline and enormous work. Why would it be easy to live lovingly and well with another human being in light of what is profoundly wrong within our human nature? Indeed, many people who have mastered athletics and art have failed miserably at marriage. So the biblical doctrine of sin explains why marriage—more than anything else that is good and important in this fallen world—is so painful and hard”
In my view marriage is the most difficult and most rewarding of all things on earth.  It’s difficult for the reasons cited above.  It’s rewarding, however, to the degree that we allow God to shape us into givers, lovers of our spouse above ourselves, men and women who have given ourselves fully to the flourishing of another human being, a human being who will not and cannot ever meet our ideal of what a marriage partner should be, yet is exactly the partner that God wants us to have.   I have often thought that the greatest achievement any man on earth could strive for is for his wife to reach the end of her life able to say, “I was truly love by this man”. 
Suggestion:
Order the
Money Life Couples Assessment
and complete it with your spouse (a $19.95 investment) and discover how financialy compatible you are.  Complete the assessment then review your individual reports and discuss them.   Leverage your money challenges into a method of bringing you together instead of pulling you apart.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Above All, Love

Blog by Megann Graf

1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, LOVE each other deeply, because LOVE covers a multitude of sins.”

Valentine’s Day is coming up.  If you ask me, it’s a dumb holiday.  Seriously, I know I am going again most women out there, but have you TRIED to go into the grocery store for milk or yogurt on Valentine’s weekend???  It’s not showcasing love my friends, it’s mass chaos!  And, while it’s nice to get a card telling me how much I am loved, does the person I love really need a reminder to tell me that?   Ok, enough rant…let’s talk about love. 

Let’s not miss the point on this.  Loving people is important!  It is not dumb.  It also should not just be done just one time a year.  Love is not easy.  It doesn’t come wrapped in red cellophane, with flowers attached.  It doesn’t taste like chocolate.  The verse above says that we should love deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.  That sounds a lot like forgiveness to me.  That doesn’t sound easy and pretty.  It sounds like it REQUIRES something from me.  If I love someone, as God would want me to, it means that I am able to look past their sins only because I know the vast and enormous grace that God has granted and LOVED me with for my sins.  It means that, even though I am looking at someone who has let me down, disappointed me, disagreed with me, hurt me, disobeyed me, etc., that I attempting to move beyond that and LOVE them as Christ loves me.  I know that I have certainly disappointed, disagreed with, hurt and disobeyed God numerous times.  And yet, He is still wants me. 
Now, this is a general overview.  This is not meant to condone being abused by someone in any unhealthy way.  But, it is to bring to light LOVE.  It’s to remind us, that when we are celebrating Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t have to be commercialized and romanticized and it doesn’t have to be a feeling. It can be a choice and it can be tangible and it can be practical.

God didn’t send Jesus to us to tell us he loved us.  He didn’t bring cards to hand out.  He didn’t bring flowers.  He came to a world that did not understand him.  He was ridiculed, He was mocked, and he was denied by those who claimed they would never deny him.  And, yet still he loved us.  He forgave us.  He was LOVE that covered ALL our sins.  That’s what he went to the cross for.  That, my friends, is love.  And that is a day worthy of celebrating.  

You Never Marry the Right Person - Part 2

February 12, 2016
Pastor Jeff Lampl

You Never Marry the Right Person
How our culture misunderstands compatibility.
Part 2


“Why is the quest for compatibility seemingly so impossible?”
Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage” explains: 
“The Bible explains why the quest for compatibility seems to be so impossible. As a pastor I have spoken to thousands of couples, some working on marriage-seeking, some working on marriage-sustaining and some working on marriage-saving. I’ve heard them say over and over, “Love shouldn’t be this hard, it should come naturally.” In response I always say something like: “Why believe that? Would someone who wants to play professional baseball say, ‘It shouldn’t be so hard to hit a fastball’? Would someone who wants to write the greatest American novel of her generation say, ‘It shouldn’t be hard to create believable characters and compelling narrative’?” The understandable retort is: “But this is not baseball or literature. This is love. Love should just come naturally if two people are compatible, if they are truly soul-mates. “
The Christian answer to this is that no two people are compatible. Duke University Ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas has famously made this point:
Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic that assumes marriage and the family are primarily institutions of personal fulfillment, necessary for us to become "whole" and happy. The assumption is that there is someone just right for us to marry and that if we look closely enough we will find the right person. This moral assumption overlooks a crucial aspect to marriage. It fails to appreciate the fact that we always marry the wrong person.
We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change. For marriage, being [the enormous thing it is] means we are not the same person after we have entered it. The primary challenge of marriage is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married”
Read that great line again!
The primary challenge of marriage is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married”!!!!
Suggestion

Order the Money Life Couples Assessment and complete it with your spouse (a $19.95 investment) and discover how financially compatible you are.  Complete the assessment then review your individual reports and discuss them.   Leverage your money challenges into a method of bringing you together instead of pulling you apart.