Pastor’s Blog
September 29, 2016
Now find your “answers” in the Bible
paraphrase called “The Message”
Ephesians 5:21-33
(The Message)
Out of respect for
Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and
support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife
the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he
exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out
in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked
by giving, not getting. Christ's love
makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says
is designed to bring the best out of her,
dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their
wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one"
in marriage.
No one abuses his own
body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the
church, since we are part of his
body. And this is why a man leaves
father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one
flesh." This is a huge mystery, and
I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ
treats the church. And this provides a
good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving
her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG)
I Corinthians 7:1-40
(The Message)
To Be Married, to Be
Single . . .
7 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me.
First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to
have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but
marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and
fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be
a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking
to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.”
Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining
from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if
it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come
back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least
expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only
providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many
ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the
gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might
well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t
manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get
married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually
tortured life as a single.
10-11 And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command,
not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or
else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to
get rid of his wife.
12-14 For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to
non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you
must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants
to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not
a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving
husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving
wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your
children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual
purposes of God.
15-16 On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got
to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us
to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way
you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You
never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only
back to you but to God.
17 And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else.
Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and
believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t
think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in
all the churches.
18-19 Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the
evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew.
Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call,
following his commands.
20-22 Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave?
Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and
can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply
trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a
marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you
were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement
to God” you would never have dreamed of.
23-24 All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful
society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of
old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends,
stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him
at your side.
25-28 The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but
as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the
way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all
sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you
married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s
certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am
saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already
stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
29-31 I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There
is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it
simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily
routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things
the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.
32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When
you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.
Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting
to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The
time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each
other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.
I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make
things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in
which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of
distractions.
36-38 If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended
to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind,
deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s
not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man
is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s
entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick
with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to
singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we
live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
39-40 A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies,
she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a
believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think
she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.
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