The Best Thing You Can Do for your Children is Love your Wife/Husband
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NLT)
“Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him."
"Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes her a letter of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. 3 But if the second husband also turns against her and divorces her, or if he dies, 4 the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the LORD. You must not bring guilt upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as a special possession."
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NLT)
Pastor’s Blog
God doesn’t think that wife swapping is a very good idea and that’s what this law is restricting. We’re not supposed to be trading spouses.
Because today’s passage recognizes that divorce was easy, Moses seeks to make it a little bit harder. As recorded in Matthew 19:7-9 Jesus explained that divorce was easy because we have hard hearts. Jesus then restricted the grounds for divorce further limiting to reason for it to adultery. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul added desertion.
God’s perfect will is that there would be no divorce. God’s permissive will makes accommodation for our sinful will. If we take this passage together with Jesus’ elaboration in Matthew 19 we see that the Bible recognizes that human beings are a mess. We make promises but then look for easy outs. We need accountability to keep our promises. Otherwise we’re prone to hurt each other. God reveals his underlying perfect will. Humans are better off married to one person for life. Yet we also see that God realizes our predicament and does allow for second chances.
Here’s how I put it together. As a divorced and remarried man, I recognize that divorce was a sin. Even though my ex wife left me against my will, I cannot claim to be a victim. It was sin and our problems took two. I sinned. Yet I confessed, admitted my sin, asked forgiveness and received pardon. After that I accepted the grace of remarriage, not because I was able to justify my innocence in the divorce, but because God is merciful and I received undeserved grace.
I think the really big deal here is that each of us takes time to invest heavily in our marriages. God first, spouse second, children third. Then life works.
In what ways, setting apart time for what practices, do you commit to invest in your one on one relationship with your spouse? Does she know you cherish her? How does she know? Does he see you demonstrate respect for him? How?
(to post your thoughts, anonymously if you wish, simply click on “comments” below)
Thank you Pastor Jeff for your insight into God's plan for lifetime marriage and also the possibility of divorce and remarriage. Having been through divorce myself and the "black sheep" syndrome at other churches I am so thankful to hear that God's forgiveness and grace transcends every area of our lives. Thank you for encouraging us to spend time with our spouses. This fast-paced world we live in leaves our heads spinning by days' end with little energy to commit to our spouse. Making "date night" or whatever works for you a priority is so important to keeping the romance alive. We cannot neglect the gift that God has given us in our spouses and expect a blessed and great marriage.
ReplyDeleteI also thank you pastor. After only four years and two kids, I often feel that I married too quickly, knowing fully who I married, but not knowing myself. Over the last year, I've taken time to really figure out who I am and I question if that person is truly compatible with the person I married. I may not know if I have the answer yet, but I am happy that God has answered my prayers for guidance by providing me with this blog that, thankfully, is here everyday as I don't always make it to church. Today's blog has given me a renewed sense of hope that my spouse and I can work it out. Or at least that God will guide us both in what's best for our marriage and our children.
ReplyDeleteThe ravages of divorce are so severe, so damaging to our children, extended families, friends and ourselves. It is clear why God hates divorce. I hear many people rationalize their desire for divorce, thinking somehow they will be immune from the consequences. If there is one thing I can contribute as a divorced man, it is to consistently point to the horrific consequences that will come - in hopes that someone may hear and commit themselves to the work (counseling and change) that will revive their marriage. I too am a recipient of God's awesome grace and am grateful for what Pastor has shared - excellent insight. Yes, God restores but consequences are real and scars are long lasting.
ReplyDeleteThere have been divorces in my family for the last two hundred years at least. The damage over the generations is staggering. The abuse, drug and alcoholism, broken families, etc is so extensive that most people in my family call me "the white sheep," not the black sheep and exclude me, not because I am broken but because I am healed. I try to be the quiet example of what God's grace can do but very few allow me even that...and yes, the scars are there and certainly the consequences are lasting but I'm healed.
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